kjp

So, I'm in Canberra. It's a bit too cold for shorts and t-shirt... overcast, and less than 20 degrees. Oh well.

Coming home from the airport we stopped for lunch at the war memorial. Afterwards, we went to Norwood Park to pick up dad, and see where a plaque will be for him...

I'm on holidays. I fly out in a bit over an hour.

Woohoo!

Apparently, a little while back, one of my favourite bands - the Foo Fighters - put out an album of their songs played live and acoustically... called "Skin and Bones".

apparently one should never post to blog when drunk, tired, upset. And I'm currently all three. good work, "kevin", as usual. stop reading this. seriously it's junk below.

bonus headache as well. and I still have to make bed (washing today), shower (jog earlier), etc.

I believe the phrase is "boning yourself". I seem to be excellent at that: screwing up the situation that I'm in and stuff. eg: my assignment, not undersytanding him until like 8 or 9 months after the fact (and not even then). Top job.

so. what crud spews forth from me now? well, nothing worth reading here. something about that love, mercy and compassion are imprortant.

I should point out that (a) last night I was tired - I gave a fair chunk of energy into the gig, and (b) I haven’t done much exercise in a while. Hence not too happy last night.

Also, I started writing this post in the afternoon… and then I had to go to a gig, then get back, eat some food, and now it’s now (i.e.: late, and I’m tired again). So, I started off writing this post as an explanation for the previous post. But I think that it has just made stuff less clear. Top job… (ohhh, this post took about 2 hours write - Ella and Frankie have been distracting me).

Anyhow, this morning I was thinking about things (as has become a regular occurrence on a Sunday morning…), and was thinking about me. Well, firstly, I don’t think that I do enough of it (introspection (?) it’s called). Now the main thing that I was thinking about is how I process info / perceive the world and how I react - based on my heart and my head. I.e.: feeling something vs. thinking about something.

In the past I have pretty much always (for important* things at least) been to go with my gut feeling and just made sure I can justify things to myself. Oh “important” does not include buying stuff. This is pretty much a think things through and justify them.

An internal conflict can come when I want something, but can not figure out what the best way to go about it.

I can feel with my heart, and / or think with my head. But I can love with my heart and / or love with my head.

A problem arises when I think (or love) with my heart and the head stops it or knows that it wouldn’t work. It means that (a) I’m not happy with myself (b) I’m stressed. But the mixed up stuff occurs when something is a relief for the head is also (simultaneously) a bitter disappointment for the heart.

…I suppose this all echoes what someone wise once said “Love is a feeling and a decision”. Maybe a corollary is that you have to love with your heart and your head.

--> I’m tired. This post isn’t finished yet. I’ll update it and clean it up tomorrow. It’s not coherent. Obviously. But I’m falling asleep as I type (it's just after midnight). So I probably should go…

So for two reasons I'm not exactly happy. The first is understandable, given what the date on Tuesday (coming) is; but the second I should be relieved about. Not unhappy. A sarcastic great is appropriate here: "Great"...

Earlier this evening was the final concert of the year for QWAB - I'll Be Home For Christmas. We played well, I thought. A couple of slight mistakes, but only slight. Decent crowd was good.

I was on the nervous side for a fair bit. Dunno why. And tense throughout - sore right arm. Ohh well. The downside for me was the reed that I was using is approaching the bin... getting quite average toward the end of the gig. Hmmm. I was very happy with the surprisingly large bunch of people that came from my spamming pretty much everyone in Brisbane in my contacts list. Twas good indeed.

Also, on the music theme, the Queensland Orchestra performance (back in early October) of the Pines Of Rome was excellent. Very picturesque music. Very enjoyable. The brass in the last movement was fat. Or is that phat? Whatever.

Ohh, had a great seat too. Smack bang in the middle of the fourth row of the balcony.

Last weekend, I went to a QWO gig - Speed. It was, as per usual for QWO, very good. Although I couldn't stay for the entire of the concert, the two highlights for me were the two Eric Whitacre pieces Equus (a horse race / chase), and Ghost Train Triptych. The soprano saxophone in the Ghost Train was excellent. Loved it.

Also, on saxophones, I had my first play of one on Wednesday night, at dinner with friends. It was very interesting to play. My arms got sore - I didn't adjust the neck strap properly. It was an under-played sax. Apparently it would have gone a year or maybe more since the last time it was played. I was able to play it a bit, the fingering is similar to the second register on the clarinet. However, I found it difficult to stay in the lower register... So maybe there was a problem with the register key, or my embouchure was not correct and I was overblowing? I had a 2 1/2 reed on. Apparently you're supposed to have a softer reed on a sax than a clari because of the different embouchure. Another problem that I had was with the low notes, when using the left had little finger keys (eg: for long b over the break), I had to have the right hand little finger C key held down. Otherwise a squawk would ensues. (On clarinet, the C key would be put down automatically). And obviously, it was louder than clarinet.

So, now I need to decide whether I take up saxophone. If so, do I (a) buy one, or (b) hire one for a bit first. Hmmm. Probably, when I get back to Brisbane in the new year, I’ll hire one for a month or two. See how that goes - if I like it: I’ll buy one of my own.