kjp

I should point out that (a) last night I was tired - I gave a fair chunk of energy into the gig, and (b) I haven’t done much exercise in a while. Hence not too happy last night.

Also, I started writing this post in the afternoon… and then I had to go to a gig, then get back, eat some food, and now it’s now (i.e.: late, and I’m tired again). So, I started off writing this post as an explanation for the previous post. But I think that it has just made stuff less clear. Top job… (ohhh, this post took about 2 hours write - Ella and Frankie have been distracting me).

Anyhow, this morning I was thinking about things (as has become a regular occurrence on a Sunday morning…), and was thinking about me. Well, firstly, I don’t think that I do enough of it (introspection (?) it’s called). Now the main thing that I was thinking about is how I process info / perceive the world and how I react - based on my heart and my head. I.e.: feeling something vs. thinking about something.

In the past I have pretty much always (for important* things at least) been to go with my gut feeling and just made sure I can justify things to myself. Oh “important” does not include buying stuff. This is pretty much a think things through and justify them.

An internal conflict can come when I want something, but can not figure out what the best way to go about it.

I can feel with my heart, and / or think with my head. But I can love with my heart and / or love with my head.

A problem arises when I think (or love) with my heart and the head stops it or knows that it wouldn’t work. It means that (a) I’m not happy with myself (b) I’m stressed. But the mixed up stuff occurs when something is a relief for the head is also (simultaneously) a bitter disappointment for the heart.

…I suppose this all echoes what someone wise once said “Love is a feeling and a decision”. Maybe a corollary is that you have to love with your heart and your head.

--> I’m tired. This post isn’t finished yet. I’ll update it and clean it up tomorrow. It’s not coherent. Obviously. But I’m falling asleep as I type (it's just after midnight). So I probably should go…